Proverbs 27:3

"Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both."

This is an extremely helpful reminder to those of us who give counsel to people in difficult situations--bad marriage partner, bad workplace, bad neighbor, etc. It is helpful because it reminds us of the burden it is to endure in these circumstances. Knowing that helps us to be a bit more empathetic.

If there is any weakness I experience in counseling, it's in failing to take into account the emotional and personal difficulty that a struggle entails. I may have a ready answer, project, or assessment, but these usually fall upon deaf ears if the struggler doesn't detect that your answer has taken into account the burden they have to bear. Always consider just how difficult it is living with a fool

Proverbs 26:4-5

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself."
"Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes."

These two proverbs force the reader to stop and reread. Why, it's a blatant contradiction in the bible! I guess the skeptics are right--you can't rely on the bible...

Well, unless the compilers of these two proverbs were extremely brain damaged, or sleeping, it is obvious that no contradiction was even remotely considered, otherwise they would have excluded one or separated them by great distance within the book. The fact, however, that one follows the other is startling and intentional. So the real question is, "what is this intended to teach us?"

The first answer seems, at face value, the easiest, that is, "Context is everything." In other words, it takes a strong sense of discernment and familiarity with the situation/persons involved to know when to respond one way and when to respond another way. The difficulty with this answer is that Proverbs tends to be pessimistic about the success of communicating with a fool, usually reserving for that function an instrument of punishment--the rod. That is the only language a fool understands.

So I prefer this second answer, "You can't reason with a fool." These two proverbs together show that one type of answer is necessary to avoid making you the fool, and the very opposite is necessary to prevent him from continuing as a fool. In either case--you lose. So the wise individual avoids any interaction with fools that he can. There is no benefit, and you should not expect that any way you answer will be productive.