Proverbs 18:13

"He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his shame."

Proverbs 18 is chock full of wisdom about debates, disputes, and responses. This verse is just one of the many so often ignored. It is usually missed by the speaker, but recognized by everyone else. That is why it is shame--it diminishes the speaker's stature in the minds of all listeners.

We should always listen and gather facts before jumping to conclusions, making decisions, or commenting. Uninformed responses are often wrong. That is why they are folly.

Parents are especially prone to this failure. We hear the yelling and make immediate assumptions. We may ask what happened, but before a full answer comes out, we give a verdict, with its stipulated penalty. Often upon further information, we must rescind our comments or decisions. I have had to apologize numerous times to my children for charging them with offenses that they did not commit because I answered hastily and without full testimony.

This can also happen when someone asks advice. We love to give our opinion, but sometimes our opinion doesn't fit their particular context or circumstances. Rather than lose credibility with the advice-seeker by rescinding your counselk, it is far better to hear a full recounting of circumstances first.