Proverbs 5-7

There is almost nothing so foolish as adultery, and perhaps nothing so deceiving. All of chapter 5, half of chapter 6, and all of chapter 7 are devoted to this one subject, and each section represents individual and significant lessons. Thus it behooves us, as teachers and as learners, to give great attention to the subject of sexual fidelity and the dangers of adultery.

First, notice that Solomon's warnings are to his son about the advances of an immoral woman. In each case she is pictured as a married woman, though this need not be so. Her gender is contrary to expectation, where people typically pin blame for immorality upon the male, who is seen as pursuing an unwitting woman to "get what he wants." Scripture is unusual in its warning that an adulterous heart is as prevelant among women as among men and that she may as likely be the initiator of immorality as he. Neither sex has a corner on the market of sexual sin. They may have different agendas, but it is imperative that young men learn that certain women may attempt to lead them astray.

Second, adultery sounds appealing. "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil" (5:3), and wisdom will keep you from, "the smooth tongue of the wayward wife." The immoral woman, and the relationship she promises, will sound convincing, even sweet. In chapter 7 her words make her sound admirable, holy, and respectable: "I have fellowship offerings at home; today I have fulfilled my vows." But Solomon, looking in on this scenario sees the seduction as it begins. "With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk." Wisdom must take to heart the potential source and sound of adultery.

Third, adultery harms those who engage in it. There is, of course, the danger of "getting caught." The end of chapter 6 warns of the consequences--"Blows and disgrace are his lot...for jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge." Your partner's offended spouse will hurt you, and nothing will appease his anger short of that. Then there are the natural consequences--the ways that adultery dehumanizes us. "The prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life." The prostitute in this verse refers to the same adulterous wife. She is called a prostitute because she retains the spirit of a prostitute, selling herself to another man, if not for cash then for romance, affection, gifts, pleasure, etc. Prostitution is a corruption of humanity. So also is the role of the "client." He is reduced "to a loaf of bread"--unthinking, personless, and a source of provision for the one in pursuit. 5:8-10 give a typical picture when it says, "Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man's house." This is often the experience of an adulterous relationship: a man attempts to maintain his secret source of sexual gratification by providing gifts to the woman who pursued him. She is getting the "princess treatment" and romantic excitement that she longed for, and the man's own family feels the lack--both financially and emotionally. Stress and guilt keep him from engaging in his own home, while time and resources are expended--sometimes even at the risk and loss of employment--upon a woman who has not made the personal investment in the man's life. There is also the promise of divine discipline: "For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths." Because of this fact, the adulterer is assured that he will not go unpunished. Even if he is never caught in this life, he will render an account to the Lord on the day of judgment. However, it is more typical that the Lord allows the man's folly to be revealed, often destroying his home and bringing an irreparable level of shame and distrust upon him.

Finally, (though certainly not all that could be said), the protection against adultery is to love and cherish and enjoy your spouse. One thing the bible is not is prudish about the sexual relationship within the home; discreet, yes; but prudish, not on your life! It knows what gratifies a man: "may her breasts satisfy you always." But more significantly, chapter 5 calls us to enjoy our sexual relationship through the love and affection that grows within marriage. Great sex is not the by-product of great technique but of great relationship. So Solomon writes, "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." Part of the attraction to an adulterous relationship is the breakdown of enjoyment in the marital relationship. So we must learn to "REJOICE" in our wife. Stop complaining and criticizing; remember what attracted you at the beginning and focus upon that; get involved in one another's interests and new discoveries; compliment her and praise her constantly for her great qualities.

The potential for joy at home is immense. The potential for danger elsewhere is certain. We must apply this lesson of wisdom, and teach it to our children, because the call of the adulterous relationship is constant, and it is strong. Solomon's conclusion is strongest of all:
"Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say.
Do not let your heart turn to her [the adulterous woman's] ways or stray into her paths.
Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death." (6:24-27)