Proverbs 23:1-3, 6-8

"When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive."

"Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost. "Eat and drink," he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments."

The basic warning is that gifts and courtesies may be deceptive, so limit your exposure. The first proverb warns against allowing oneself to be manipulated through perceived benefits--a typical political scenario. Do not let yourself be influenced through gifts and special treatment, Solomon warns. Set yourself a personal policy against accepting more than an appropriate amount of benefit from rulers and politico's, knowing your weakness for such things. The giver has a selfish agenda, and is trying to influence you in his direction. If you want to maintain independence and virtue, resist such attempts.

The second proverb warns against allowing oneself to be manipulated through felt obligation. Like the first man's food, it comes with an agenda. In this case, you are expected to repay any courtesy you receive out of personal obligation (family, friendship, etc.). You will be sorry you ever accepted his "generosity" (you will vomit up what you've eaten) in the first place. This person says, "I did _____ for you, and you can't do _____ for me!?"

Be aware of the potential for personal agenda's in people's kindnesses and don't let yourself be roped in.